The power of the spoken word is immense.
It has the ability to inspire, motivate and lead others to an amazing effect. It also has the ability to humiliate destroy and the more allies a person is value and self-worth.
Words can build up or tear down, the choice is yours.
Because most of our communication – whether it is spoken, transcribed or digital – we need to be cognizant of its impact on other people. It’s easy to point fingers at other people‘s words but it needs to start with each of us individually and how we can edify (or detract from) another person’s value.
Be mindful of our words that criticize, embellish, are colorful and unprofessional, that are used to elevate yourself above someone else. We may do this under the guise of telling it straight but in reality it can cause divisiveness, disengagement and loss of credible influence.
While we all want to be honest in our communication, great leaders and great people know how to balance the any conversation with an overwhelming desire to use words that build, restore, inspire, encourage and create a positive impact on those they are intended, and not intended, for.
Use your words wisely.
TODAY IS THE LAUNCH OF THE NEW BOOK “THE LEADERSHIP KILLER” BY BILL TREASURER AND JOHN HAVLIK. THEY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TODAY’S POST AS A TEASER FOR THIS TIMELY LOOK INTO THE STATE OF LEADERSHIP.
THIS IS A GREAT BOOK FOR US NOT TO “PITCHFORK” AND SAY “SO AND SO COULD REALLY USE THIS” BUT TO DEEPLY LOOK INTO OURSELVES AND HOW THE LEADERSHIP KILLER CAN AFFECT EACH OF US IN OUR ABILITY TO LEAD OTHERS. I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO HELP US KEEP NECESSARY GUARDRAILS IN OUR QUEST FOR POSITIVE IMPACT IN OUR LEADERSHIP.
First, you might ask yourself, what is the Leadership Killer? And to that I say, good question indeed. As a leadership consultant for more than 20 years, I’ve come to recognize definitive patterns in styles and behaviors of good leaders. There are key characteristics that bolster the leader and there are certain habits that will take the leader and their team down. One of these habits is what I call The Leadership Killer. There’s a little Killer in all of us and if that doesn’t sound ominous to you, you might already be in trouble.
My friend of 30+ years, Captain John “Coach” Havlik, Navy SEAL (Retired), and I recently co-authored a new book, The Leadership Killer: Reclaiming Humility in an Age of Arrogance. We wrote the book while examining hubris and the role it plays in killing leadership. Hubris, according to Merriam-Webster, is defined as “exaggerated pride or self-confidence.” Other authorities define it as dangerous overconfidence. Neither definition sounds like something you should want to aspire to as either a new or experienced leader. Rather, your goal is to avoid this at all costs—either by never becoming hubristic or taking a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and changing your ways tout suite, if you’ve already headed in that direction.
How Dare We Talk About Good Leadership?
John and I aren’t shy when it comes to admitting that we’ve both fallen prey to the Killer, hubris. We have both been the victims of our own ego-driven self-sabotage. We are seasoned, but not unscathed. Many of the lessons we offer in our book were earned the hard way, through our own faulty and arrogant leadership styles. We suspect though, that you’d rather avoid similar circumstances and instead learn from a couple of guys who have “been there, done that.” Whatever bad you’ve done as a leader in the past, put it in the ground so those good leaders can grow. If you’re just starting your leadership journey, grow where lessons are cultivated. Those are the best environments for learning and ensuring your path will be challenging and rewarding.
Speedbumps are Inevitable
No one can choose a leadership career and expect it to be easy. As you progress, you will face many challenges, obstacles, and setbacks. Be thankful for that, because facing them is how you develop and strengthen your leadership. A leader’s character is defined by how he handles, or mishandles, such speedbumps. Speedbumps cause stress, and that stress can increase the temptation to misuse your leadership power. The leader who deftly manages the Killer will be able to learn from speedbumps without skidding off the road.
The Killer is out There
The Killer is deadly serious and means business. Most leaders set out to do good, but even they can be corrupted and the culprit is most often the Killer. So be proactive. LOOK for the Killer in you. Think about a time when life let you know that you’d gotten too cocky, and write down the answers to the following:
- What caused you to become so full of yourself?
- What outcome did the cockiness lead to?
- Now…..think….What did you learn about yourself in the process?
- How do you honor those lessons in the way you lead today?
Knowing that the Killer can strike anytime, this gives you the opportunity to examine past behaviors and the awareness to keep your ego in check before anything unfortunate happens again.
You Get to Decide
You may find it surprising, but what the Killer does with you and your leadership is up to YOU. Hubris wreaks havoc when your self-will runs amok. Hubris appears when you let your leadership power go to your head. The Killer arises from immodesty and immaturity. What tempers hubris, what will bring your leadership back to a career filled with altruism, opportunity, and authenticity is humility. It’s within you just as much as the Killer, but accessing it can be a challenge. You can move from the darkness of hubris in the lightness of humility. Are you ready for the journey?
Bill Treasurer is the founder of Giant Leap Consulting and author of five books on courage and leadership, including the international bestseller, Courage Goes to Work. Giant Leap has led over 1,000 leadership programs across the world for clients that include NASA, Saks Fifth Avenue, UBS Bank, and eBay. Treasurer is a former member of the U.S. High Diving Team, and attended West Virginia University on a full athletic scholarship. @BTreasurer www.BillTreasurer.com
CAPT John “Coach” Havlik, U.S. Navy SEAL (Retired), led special operations teams around the world during his 31-year naval career, to include the Naval Special Warfare Development Group, the SEAL’s most elite operational unit. CAPT Havlik was a nationally-ranked swimmer, and is a member of the West Virginia University Sports Hall of Fame and Mountaineer Legends Society. @CoachHavlik www.CoachHavlik.com
Self-Awareness has been a vital part of leadership for a handful of years. But being self-aware is not enough.
Great leaders need to focus on being “Others-Aware”.
Leaders do not operate in a vacuum, and cannot lead without the collective efforts and vision of others. But to focus on one’s self exclusively will lead to a shallowness of understanding and influence that will be ineffective and wear yourself out.
Here are some reasons and key benefits to being a leader who is “others-aware”:
- Understanding the concept that business is people. Google “business is people” and you’ll see the concept exposited from Richard Branson, Forbes magazine, Brian Tracy, Harvard Business Review, and others. This philosophy of success is based on meeting the needs of the organizations teams and individuals. When you realize the value of bringing others along for the journey, you start to become aware of their needs as both colleagues, business partners, and customers.
- Don’t focus too much on self. By focusing solely on self, you will obsess about everything you are working on and exclude those around you. This isolationist mindset will cause you to detach from the big picture of what is going on around you. By focusing on others, you not only become more aware of their needs, but also realize more of what you need to work on yourself in the process.
- You are only one piece of the team. If a conductor of an orchestra stepped to the platform to perform without the ensemble, they would be ineffective and a failure. They need the entire orchestra to complement their abilities and bring harmony together. Likewise, as a leader you need your teams and cannot achieve the mission without them. Bringing their talents to the forefront and making them the star of the show delivers results that cannot be met in any one person’s power.
- Connecting with people. Being aware of others means to connect others to others, sometimes even without yourself, to allow a team to flourish, innovate, and syngergize. A leader focused on self will get in the way of their people’s interactions. Instead, know what your team’s needs are from within itself and foster those working relationships from within to build connection and culture.
- Knowing the needs to the individual, and the whole team. If as a leader you fall short of meeting your people’s basic needs, they will pull away, causing toxicity, less production, and even some sabotage of the organization in various levels. Employees whose needs are met will grow, give more of themselves, and know that their workplace cares for their personal and career lives.
- Strengthening and building current and subsequent leaders. If you think other people will follow you solely on your example, you are missing the point. Future leaders are great followers, but all followers follow only those that invest in them. If you want to develop better employees and future leaders, know what they need, commit and invest in building their skills to attain those abilities.
- Creating a deeper engagement. Sometimes leaders will focus on employee engagement, but from such an internal aspect they fail to grasp the concept and bring full committed engagement about. Engaged employees are only engaged so long as they feel they are being taken care of; they are totally committed when they know their best interests are being looked after. Drill down engagement to deeper roots by focusing on others and being aware of their needs at any given time.
If you are a leader who is being self-aware…keep it up and keep growing. Yet remind yourself to be “others-aware: and engage in their future. Bring as many people along the way to attaining the goals set before you. You’ll be amazed at how they will grow, and how you grow as well.
Make the commitment to be “Others-Aware” and work on your interactions with the people in your sphere of influence!